It's the days we're so crazy people think we're high.

so i went to the mall with monica. too bad they were out of EVRYTHING we planned on getting. it sucked. anyways, still just getting out of the house was fun. then we went to chesseburger in paridise. it was good but it made me feel sooo fat, i couldnt even finish my food, evrything was gimoungous. but i saw my cinnie-minnie so twas all good. ok im gonna be honest, i havent done any more work on london brigde bc i just havent had the time. and i feel really bad...so maybe ill keep it for another week??




















I wish I felt nothing,
then it might be easy for me,
like it is for you.

She's your basic, average teenage girl.

im sooo happy right now because evrything is just going good ya know? ryan (a friend of mine who is amazing) and monica (my cousin) are finally officially dating and i think they r perfect for each other. after all, they both chicken dance really well...lol. plus, monica sent me really cute pics of missa (my sister) and her in oc and hopefully we r gonna go shopping sat...fun fun fun.

LIVE

YOUR

DREAM.















we would sit & wonder about the future. but now im thinking that today sounds fine to me.

remember to check out beccahs blog to find out what i did labor day...

I'll wait for you, hoping that you'll change your mind because
Hoping's all I can do...

im so excited for the fall retreat & I hope the weather holds, but than again, we don't need the sun to make us shine.



& I still count my blessings, with or without you. & no, I guess i didnt learn a lesson; I'm still a dedicated fool.















in life, God does not give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need ; to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to make you laugh...to make you exactly the person you should be. ♥

knowing that something will never happen doesnt make me want it any less

i just wanted to say that that dumb photograph of me and you still
brings tears to my eyes... and it takes a someone special to make the ordinary moments like that something to remember... so i'm sitting here listening to the tick tock of the clock because these days, it's the only thing that stays the same.















this is the scene where I confess that you mean everything to me

Dance in the rain just to get soaked

i got the title from thinking about beccah. we spent the weekend together brige-builing. it pretty much rocked. pics should be up on her blog soon.

in other news, i have been thinking about _____ alot lately and i really reall really really really miss him. and the worst part is, i know he doesnt miss me. its like a lose-lose situation or something. Whatever I'm doing, whenever it is,whoever I am talking to, I am always thinking about one thing. him. and that just cannot be healthy. every time I see a shooting star I whisper his name, and he is consistantly in my prayers.

granted, i know im kinda boy crazy...but this is different. I didn't fall in love with him because of his drop dead gorgeous eyes. I fell for what was behind them. and for the first time in my life i stare at myself in the mirror. i can no longer notice my once reedeeming qualities. i cant give myself credit for being such a forgiving person. A wonderful friend. A great listener.because somehow, if _____ doesn't see my beauty, neither can i.















you know you're in love when you realize
you found the person you'd die for

maybe I don't wanna be in love...

i cannot believe my first "real" school day is tomarrow. just hoes to show you that things change. friends leave. & unfortunatly life doesn't stop for anybody. im not ready for the real world...so not ready...

i mean come on we all know that im just the girl who lives for the m o m e n t s that bring butterflies to my stomach & a smile to my face...im just a girl...

im just a girl and ...& i'm dancing in the rain, trying to wash my pain away.

no girl is stupid enough to love you like i do

You Are a Chimera

You are very outgoing and well connected to many people. Incredibly devoted to your family and friends, you find purpose in nurturing others. You are rarely alone, and you do best in the company of others. You are incredibly expressive, and people are sometimes overwhelmed by your strong emotions.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

Love is the hardest thing to find, and the easiest thing to lose. We recognize a true love when we realize that the only who can make us feel better us is the one who caused the pain.♥

no words are needed...lol

I don't know

and i want you to say that I am the brightest little firefly, in your jar. mmkay?

Today's Quote

Until you're ready to look foolish, you'll never have the possibility of being great.

-Cher



so I wonder... when i pass by does anyones stomach do a flip? does anyone get nervous? does anyone ignore their friends, just to look at me? does anyone wait to see my smile? does anyone get sweaty palms? does anyone think to themselves ... "oh gosh here she comes"? ...cause if they do, they know exactly how i feel when you walk by.

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self. No doubt, you are all about making good music... But what really gets you going is having an over the top show. Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

..and sometimes, if you're lucky....

so i think im starting to realize just how important friendship really is. like this story i read one time. basically theres this girl and this guy and they r best friends but they have this huge fight and both of them are like feeling all depressed and stuff and evrything is basically going wrong. well the boy decides he is going to commit suicide by jumping off these huge cliffs naer the end of town, but when he gets there he see that the girl is already there about ready to jump. so of course his protective instincts take over and he tries to talk her out of it and...


girl: I will only give you one night To prove yourself to be better than my attempted fight. I swear to God if you hurt me I will leap. I will toss myself from these very cliffs. And you will never see it coming.

boy: Settle precious I know what you're going through...See, minutes before i saw you, I was gonna jump too. but seeing you ive realized how much i have to live for. because youve never really lived untill you find someone to die for, and hey, i found you so i figure this is just the begining of something that could end up being beautiful, and even if it doesnt, i will always love you.

and they both lived happily ever after.

so i just wanted to let you know, that if you are reading this, although i may be mean, self centered, stupid and arrogant, i love you. more than you know. and im gonna try to be a better freind, and i only ask that you give me that chance.

♥













I only give you one night
To prove yourself to be better than my attempted fight
I swear to God if you hurt me I will leap
I will toss myself from these very cliffs
And you will never see it coming
"Settle precious I know what you're going through
See, minutes before you got here I was gonna jump too"

What Type of Writer Should I Be

You Should Be a Film Writer

You don't just create compelling stories, you see them as clearly as a movie in your mind. You have a knack for details and dialogue. You can really make a character come to life. Chances are, you enjoy creating all types of stories. The joy is in the storytelling. And nothing would please you more than millions of people seeing your story on the big screen!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

love

If it feels right, it probably is.

i got contacts today. they feel really werid. everyone says ill get used to it but im not so sure.

I live for the moments that I'll always remember With the friends, I'll never forget, so kate n i saw step up last nite. you really can see erin perfectly like 3 times.

i love her.

fyi, my fav jellybellly flavors are now mashmellow and cream soda.

Sometimes I just dont understand

i miss some of the people i used to hang out with or rather, the people who i always wanted to hang out with...but they never wanted to hang out with me. fyi, they still dont.i mean i wish i wasnt so confused becaue id like to think that im missunderstanding the fact that im consistantly excluded, or maybe its really me not them... but i feel like they are sending me mixed signals ; and i don't like the confusion it brings. i'd rather have the honest truth...even if it hurts . . . because then i wouldn't waste my time depending on false hope to keep hanging on.

for once in my life, i want them to take a chance with me so i can show them that i really am worth it....oh well. onward with my quest to find what makes them hate me... and i just pray that eventually all the pieces will fall into place. until then i just have to laugh at my confusion. live for the moments i do have with them & just try to remember that everything happends for a reason.









"those look like some de-lish-ous grapes....not. look, that ones a rasin." ~Tyler like 5 mins ago while looking at the werid grapes in my fridge

^^ that was alot funnier while he said it...^^















Heads Carolina, Tails California.
Somewhere greener, somewhere warmer.
Up in the mountains, down by the ocean.
Where ever don't matter, long as we're goin.
Somewhere together, I've got a quarter.
Heads Carolina, Tails California















she cries herself to sleep at night & no one's there to dry her eyes

Entrance Exam

A Christian, a Muslim and a Buddhist die and arrive at the Gate of Heaven. An angel (or deva) stops them and asks, "Why do you come here? Can you tell me the reasons why you are allowed to enter Heaven?"

The Christian replies, "My ancestors disobeyed God, and I sinned all my life: I killed, I lied, I cheated my wife and I was greedy. However, Jesus died for me and all my sins are forgiven. So I deserve to enter Heaven."

"OK," replies the Angel. "Sounds good, but I must give you an entrance examination before you can enter." The Christian promptly agrees and the Angel asks him: "How do you spell God?" It is an easy question, and the Christian passes through the Gate.

Next came the Muslim, who says, "I did not do any especially good or evil things during my life but I was very devout. I prayed to God five times a day. So, I too should enter Heaven." The Angel replies, "It sounds OK to me, but I have to give you a test also. How do you spell Allah?" The Muslim passes the test and enters Heaven.

Finally, it is the Buddhist's turn. He tells the Angel, "I've done all the good things in my life and I followed Buddha's five precepts: I never killed, I donated to charities, I meditated every day, and I never cheated my boss nor my customers." The Angel replies, "That is very good, but there are no exceptions. You must pass the entrance test also in order to get in." Thinking that the test should be simple, the Buddhist happily agrees.

The Angel then asks him: "How do you spell Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva?"

Yes, I may just be crazy. But no, i dont really care.

so i just wanted to let you know that you have something so many guys don't. You have a girl who is standing in front of you telling you that wherever she goes your always on her mind and in her heart... she finds that without you she wouldn't be nearly as happy... and that life just wouldn't compare to how it is now. Not many guys have that. and i dunno... those memories didnt fade did they? so maybe someday we can be more than friends, maybe someday love will find us, or rather, maybe it will finally find you.

and although you may not know it yet, and you know what? maybe you'll never even think about it... but I'm special. You're gonna meet a lot of girls throughout your life, and a lot of them will be special to you... But I'm telling you right now, you'll never find another me.

Life for you, has been less than kind, so take a number and stand in line. We've all been sorry, we've all been hurt, but how we survive, is what makes us who we are. and frankly baby, i like what its made you.

love always and forever,
me

Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge

You know how to make your man crave more of you But you also know when to show some interest back You're good at keeping your guy guessing And over time, you'll let him know how you really feel

Are You a Challenge?

You Are Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"We saved the world. I say we have to party."

What Superheroine Are You?

sometimes the hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had.

some people care a little too much,
i think it's called LOVE ;
-- winnie the pooh

<3

<3

how come everything always makes sense;; until I see him again... untill i remember that he & I could make the whole world jealous...
not that i want to.



<3
& its really all my fault... I've made myself the fool thats falling for him. i mean really, all the drama, lies, heartbreak, & tears & these are the best years of our lives? i know it sounds melodramatic but i am dramatic and the only advice anyone ever gives me is "be strong"...I don't WANT to be that strong;; if it means being alone. no one ever tells me its ok to cry.

then again, is it really my fault you've got the arms i wanna be wrapped in,
the eyes i want to lose myself in, & the voice i could listen to for hours?
<3

i wish i knew exactly what to do. i wish... i wish i could lose this alter ego i have adopted. the "me" everyone thinks they know... but i cant help thinking it's better to laugh about nothing than to cry about everything. right?

and if you were actually to read this, which i know you wont so its ok, but if you were, and i could tell you one thing, I would scream: please don't leave me here tonight...I need you now, I need you in my life.

but i would never tell you that because, well, because it gets hard to trust anyone when everyone you ever opened your heart up to lets you down. and ben always said, "if you can't handle my worst, then you don't deserve my best." then again, look what happened to ben. and the sad part is he died without me knowing weather or not i will see him again with our heavenly father, and i can only blame myself for that. i was too selfish to think about...i was too young to realize that im not invincible. but he wasnt. wasnt too young or too week. he could do anything...or so he thought. and i never belived his brother when he told me. it all sounded like a sick joke...but the minutes passed...hours...days, and i got the notice for the funeral. and i didnt go. didnt have the heart. well i didnt have the time, money, or abillity, but mostly i didnt have the heart. i know ben would have forgiven me for abandoning him and im sure god has forgiven me but i know for sure i will never be able to forgive myself. and if you sat here and read this im sorry. sorry you had to hear me lament and cry but ive never put it all out there like this before and i dunno there was just something telling me i might feel better if i did. granted i dont feel better right now, and i dont think i ever will be able to feel as i once did, but...but...i judt dont know anymore. im just so sorry.

funnes

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen Peacemaker, first to end a fight Good at thinking up creative dates Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily Going with your gut instead of your head Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault Good at recognizing patterns in relationships Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart

Are You Right Brained or Left Brained in Love?

You Are Miss Piggy

A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it. You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less. You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way. Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!

The Muppet Personality Test