laugh long. smile sweet. party hard.

TLink1125 (8:46:04 PM): only one is alot of work

sassybackup (8:46:42 PM): thats good i guess
sassybackup (8:46:53 PM): which one?

TLink1125 (8:47:14 PM): engineering cultures

sassybackup (8:47:32 PM): um yeah that sounds hard
sassybackup (8:49:38 PM): my hardest class is...well none of them are really hard, its just that theres alota stuff to do ya know?

TLink1125 (8:49:52 PM): yup i know

sassybackup (8:50:43 PM): i knew you knew

TLink1125 (8:51:06 PM): well i knew that you knew that i knew

sassybackup (8:51:41 PM): well that just goes to show ya how well we understand one another i guess

TLink1125 (8:52:30 PM): or we're psychic

sassybackup (8:53:21 PM): well evryone knows that I'M psychic...but YOU? im not so sure about that....what am i thinking right now?

TLink1125 (8:53:42 PM): you are thinking that im not psychic
TLink1125 (8:53:49 PM): jeez that was easy
TLink1125 (8:53:56 PM): what am i thinking

sassybackup (8:55:03 PM): hmmm... youre thinking "i wonder what shes gonna say im thinking"

TLink1125 (8:55:11 PM): nope

sassybackup (8:55:17 PM): darn. what was it?

TLink1125 (8:55:25 PM): she better not be faking
TLink1125 (8:55:36 PM): hahahahahahahaahahahahahahaha
TLink1125 (8:55:38 PM): i win

sassybackup (8:55:55 PM): maybe i wasnt really thinking that you werent psychic

TLink1125 (8:56:07 PM): you were
TLink1125 (8:56:10 PM): i know

sassybackup (8:56:29 PM): maybe i just wanted you to think that that was what i was thinking bc i didnt want you to know what i was acually thinking
sassybackup (8:57:16 PM): actually*

TLink1125 (8:57:36 PM): right.....then you would be psychic

sassybackup (8:58:12 PM): and then you dont win...we tie

TLink1125 (8:59:01 PM): fine

sassybackup (8:59:28 PM): why yes i am fine, thanks for noticing.

















ok so im not "over" you. ill always love you. but im ready to move on. because someone else goves me hope [[♥]]. after all, A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

let me explain, missing someone gets easier every day, because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will. and im ready to miss you, without dwelling on you, because someone else is starting to occupy my heart.

and yes, to tell my new love how i feel might take a while because i have trust issues but if you were me, you would too.

i think that the miracle of love is that we all just kind of wander around here aimlessly searching for someone who understands us... and yet anyone could understnad you, if you would just give them the chance.

I'm writing for you

sometimes hearts are vacant. sometimes words don't work. and sometimes love will find you when you least expect it. and if there was only one word to describe be, it would be hopeful.

hopeful: having or manifesting or inspiring hope. full of hope; expressing hope. exciting hope; promising advantage or success. a person who shows promise or aspires to success.

thats what i want to be. hopeful. a person who shows promise.








its been a hard week. my uncle larry died. i dont do greif well. i hide it. i dont mourn. i laugh. and that doesnt make it better. one of these days im gonna explode. i had a show, no one wanted to come cept becca and matt. thats y i love them. just all in all it was a really hard week. lots of pressure. "No pressure, no diamonds."
-Mary Case. i wanna be a diamond. i really do. i wanna be his diamond.















Today's Quote

The U.S. Constitution doesn't guarantee happiness, only the pursuit of it. You have to catch up with it yourself.

-Benjamin Franklin

You Are Marge Simpson

You're a devoted family member who loves unconditionally. Sometimes, though, you dream about living a wild secret life! You will be remembered for: your good cooking and evading the police Your life philosophy: "You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Caffe Vanilla Frappuccino

Smooth and sweet, you fit in to almost any crowd. No one would suspect you of being a coffee tweaker!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Happy

You see life as simple, and simple is a very good thing. You're cheerful and upbeat, taking everything as it comes. And you decide not to worry, even when things look bad. You figure there's just so many great things to look forward to.

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are Likely a First Born

At your darkest moments, you feel guilty. At work and school, you do best when you're researching. When you love someone, you tend to agree with them often. In friendship, you are considerate and compromising. Your ideal careers are: business, research, counseling, promotion, and speaking. You will leave your mark on the world with discoveries, new information, and teaching people to dream.

The Birth Order Predictor

I want to be the girl that makes you say "She's the prettiest girl in the whole world. and the reason she's pretty is because she's mine."

i say this like its no big deal. Like its nothing. But its everything

ok so let me start off by quoting jason, or at least, who i think was jason,
"focus on all the things you would plan to do with your possible significant other then go find him, if he likes you you're set, if not work hard to win his affection...then live happily ever after. you can do it! i know you can!"

the problem with this is that i cant convince myself that i havent already found my one-and-only. ive tried hard to win his affection but i just came off as really creepy, so now i dont know what to do, it is so hard for me to talk to him in person, in fact, i just cant do it, and he probobally thinks thats its weird but i cant help thinking that if i say the wrong thing then im going to chase him away for good and i would not be able to handle that. anyways...



and yes. beleive me, i understand that i should take some chances. i should risk it all. i should close my eyes and jump because it might be worth the fall, but i did that once... and it backfired, and i cannot bring myself to do it again. i mean, i know myself pretty well, and i certainly know myself well wnough to know that I laugh at the stupidest things & always say the wrong things at the wrong time. I cry for no reason & sometimes I get jealous easily. I don't have it all together. But that's just me. and i know he doesnt like "just me" so untill i can like grwo up or whatever, i just need him to stick around, and if i really go for it, that wont happen, ill just chase him away. and at times he confuses me so much. It's like he smiles at me & I can't get him out of my head. and ive fallen for many a boy before, but not like this.

so untill i can grow up and he can fianlly love me (and yes i can wait, just watch me) ill be crawling into bed barely making it through. days will be going by and i will still think of him. He's the one I want to see when I wake up in the morning & before I close my eyes at night. i cant help that. i cant control it, it just is. i cant convince myself that God gave him to me to just take him away again. i dont know why hes so different eaither. it think maybe its because when i found him, i wasnt looking for the boy who could be the best boyfriend... i was looking for the boy who could be my best friend, and he was for a while. i guess the winter makes makes me laugh a little slower, makes me talk a little lower, about the things i couldn't show him, and it's been a long december, and im just realizing that there's no reason to believe it, but maybe, just maybe, maybe this year will be better than the last. I wish I could have one more chance with him. I've never felt so close with someone before. I guess I need you baby.

You Are Batman

Billionaire playboy by day. Saving the world by night. And you're not even a true superhero. Just someone with a lot of expensive toys!

What Superhero Are You?

Today's Quote

Self-trust is the first secret of success.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

You Should Be a Dancer

You have a unique combination of grace and athleticism.. Whether you become a salsa dancer or a ballerina, you need to get dancing!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

So tell me,
why do I always go back to you?

if only the good things in life lasted longer

ill admit that im a little upset about how things went down this christmas. at least in regars to him, but i promised myself i wouldnt vent to anyone.
because i know my problems aren't important and no one is listening. so much for that right? im crying out inside; but hey, im beautiful, right? thats all i hard that night. i know it wasnt true, and even if it were, thats not what i wanted to hear. i wanted to be told that i was loved, not that i was beautiful. and no, its not the same thing, in fact, its totaly different. if only i didn't have to say goodbye to him everytime i said hello to him. maybe things would be differnet... at least i like to think they would. i know one thing for sure, im not giving up. not yet. besides, i couldnt if i tried.


Today's Quote

Everything works out in the end. If it hasn't worked out, it's not the end.

-Unknown

I'm going to say it straight-out:
No one can compare to you.

for a MINUTE with you

This is my December. These are my barren trees. This is me pretending this is all I need.









Today's Quote

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.

-Louisa May Alcott

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Matanda!

1. The water in oceans is four times less salty than the water in Matanda.
2. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Matanda, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
3. If you lace Matanda from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe!
4. The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes Matanda!
5. The only planet that rotates on its side is Matanda!
6. An average beaver can cut down Matanda every year!
7. The smelly fluid secreted by skunks is colloquially known as Matanda.
8. Matanda can turn her stomach inside out!
9. If your ear itches, this means that someone is talking about Matanda.
10. Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are Matanda.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

You Should Get a Tattoo of Initials

Modern and expressive You're proud of who you are (or who you love)!

What Tattoo Should You Get?

The process of growing up is nothing more than
figuring out what doors haven't yet been slammed in your face.













It Just Takes Some Time
Jimmy Eat World

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just try your best, try everything you can.
And don't you worry what they tell themselves when you're away.
It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, you know they're all the same.
You know you're doing better on your own, so don't buy in.
Live right now.
Yeah, just be yourself.
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else.
It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
Hey, don't write yourself off yet.
It's only in your head you feel left out or
looked down on.
Just do your best, do everything you can.
And don't you worry what the bitter hearts are gonna say.
It just takes some time,
little girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright).
It just takes some time,
ittle girl you're in the middle of the ride.
Everything (everything) will be just fine,
everything (everything) will be alright (alright).













Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them

cast list

i dont feel like talking about it so im just gonna post it exactly how it was posted.:

"Reno Sweeney Michelle Lilley

Hope Harcourt Susan Wilmes

Evangeline Harcourt Jill Keys

Lord Evelyn Oakleigh Nick Carter

Elisha J. Whitney Keith Rafferty

Billy Crocker Drew Martin

Moonface Martin Daniel Lonsbury

Bonnie LaTour Lisa Fritts

Reno’s Angels

Purity Kim Wilhelm

Chastity Allie Gauthier

Charity Jaime Hamilton

Virtue Stephanie Stephens

Patience Stephanie Huff

Faith Cortnee Doll

Grace Lauren King

Joy Brittany Huff

Bishop Henry T. Dobson Josh Jordan

Mildred Price Crystal Clark

Captain Sierra Hoover

Ship’s Purser Brittany Taylor

Ship’s Steward Miguel Mattia-Uribe

Convert 1 Cameron Lee

Convert 2 Mike Argilan

Reporter Casey Boehm

Photographer Clayton Northcraft



Sailors

Lejerian Williams

Brandon Sukeforth

Andrew Scott

Rebecca Butler

Jessica Clark

Girl 1 Annie Boyer

Girl 2 Kelsey McKain

Girl 3 Cherelle Smith



Passengers

Katelyn Anderson, Kaitlyn Kivi, Amanda Matousek, Stephanie Bernholz, Kyle Gunderson, Alex Sharek, Elizabeth Durrant, Sabrina Repp, Samantha Nielson, Kristyn Nemethvargo



Once again, you guys made this decision very difficult. Don't forget. . .mandatory meeting on Wednesday. You'll find out what numbers and scenes you are in, etc. Thanks all. . .you are all amazing."















no comment















Josh Turner - Would You Go With Me Lyrics

Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire

Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher

If we roll from town to town and never shut it down



Would you go with me if we were lost in fields of clover

Would we walk even closer until the trip was over

And would it be okay if I didn't know the way



If I gave you my hand would you take it

And make me the happiest man in the world

If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without
you, girl

Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea

Let me know if you're really a dream

I love you so, so would you go with me



[Instrumental]



Would you go with me if we rode the clouds together

Could you not look down forever

If you were lighter than a feather

Oh, and if I set you free, would you go with me



If I gave you my hand would you take it

And make me the happiest man in the world

If I told you my heart couldn't beat one more minute without
you, girl

Would you accompany me to the edge of the sea

Help me tie up the ends of a dream

I gotta know, would you go with me

I love you so, so would you go with me































and that's when I realized; I didn't stand a chance

it just doesnt feel like a night out with no one sizing you up

callbacks will be posted tomarrow night and yall will be the first to know how i did. trust me. ill eaither be exploding with joy or screaming in pain.

and i know and i know it just doesnt feel like a night out wth no one sixing you up ive never been so surrepticiius so i know you'll be distracted when i spike the punch. and i know and i know it just doesnt feel like a night out with no one sixing you up...

Today's Quote

I'm an idealist. I don't know where I'm going but I'm on the way.

-Carl Sandburg

gotta love pierre and seb

not to mention the rest of simple plan and of course bob rock. he rocks.

if I don't make your heart skip a beat;; then hate me

so i had a bad day

hard day

dont want to talk about

which is surprising cause normally i wanna talk about it

but it was just that bad.

matt hurt his arm sat at basketball practise. he was fouled...so hecant do this anymore:

but he has tought himself to play xbox and gamecube one handed already. go figure.

vocal auditions went sub par today...but thats ok i can make up for it in dance tomarrow. ((still keep me in ur prayers)){{matt too}}

Which Positive Quality Are You? Your Result: Love You are Love. Love is the glue that binds us all together. The love of family, the love of friends, the love between husbands and their wives--these things form the foundation of our happiness, our security, and our comfort. "All you need is love."
Charity
Peace
Faith
Friendship
Courage
Which Positive Quality Are You?

Today's Quote

No matter what accomplishments you make, somebody helped you.

-Althea Gibson









one of the hardest things in life
is having words in your heart
that you cannot speak.

mie brovver

well im glad ya'll liked my last post. i just realized that my entries are wayyyyyyy too repetitive (thanks joey) so i needed to mix it up a little.

in other news, keep matt in your prayers...he broke his wrist bad and hes in alot of pain. i know that everybody has like sibling rivalry and i might complain about him sometimes but he really is one of my best friends, and we hardly ever fight. for real. i dunno its weird but we r like really close for siblings..maybe because we travel so much together, we have to be each other friends or else we would always be bored...

he is banged up. mentally and emotionally. literally and metaphorically. but every day he walks outside with a smile on his face because that's who he is. and i love him for it.

You scored as Fun. Your fun fun fun! Please rate my quiz! Fun 88% Outgoing 81% Dramatic 75% Nice 63% Immature 56% mean 19% Shy 13% what kind of person are you? (shy,outgoing,fun,mean,immature,dramatic or nice?) created with QuizFarm.com

and if you have some extra time i could use prayer as well...its audition week and tomarrow is vocals...my worst day....

Sometimes, someone comes into your life that changes everything, raises the standards, makes you laugh, and makes you feel like you. There is something about him that you can't put into words and even though you're not with him, you don't want to let him go.

this is one of my fav songs ever,,,the vid sucks tho..o well..

she knows it's a lie

You are a Playful Date

Your dating philosophy? "Fun first, romance later" You rather scream on a roller coaster... Then stare in to some guy's eyes over dinner. Guys to look for: Men with humorous profiles and quirky interests Sure that business suit guy may look boring... But if he likes snowball fights, give him a try

What Kind of Date Are You?

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. --JK Rowling















Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.































He has something worth tripping over.
I just didn't know I would fall so hard.















Today's Quote

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

-Anonymous

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

WANTED:
One boy who will ; one boy who will love me no matter what I do; someone that I can hug, who won't break my heart; who will know how to treat me right from the start. If you can fulfill my wishes, please--let me know.

she had her heart on the line

RANDOMNESS!!!

IVE BEEN IN THE CAR FOR 11 HOURS TODAY AND IM A LITTLE LOOPY!!!

IM GONING TO WRITE IN CAPS LOCK!!!

ok done with that...









Today's Quote

'Twas her thinking of others that made you think of her.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning















I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

You Are 79% Feminine, 21% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side. Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you. And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

somebody who makes me happy

ONCE AGAIN;;;Dear Mr (or Miss) Anonymous,

i appreciate your comment. alot. ("Hey I just want you to know that I am one of your friends. That I will be there when you fall, and there when you need help. I will be there when some guy needs a fist to the face or even when he doesnt. I will be here in the good times too. I am always here and I do want to be your friend. Alright then you probably know who this is but if you dont just ask if it was Ill tell you.") but im very slow and have no ieda who you are. so im asking....("just ask if it was Ill tell you"). [♥]IF YOU DONT WANT TO TELL ME ON HERE THEN THERE ARE MANY OTHER WAYS TO CONTACT ME ie. www.myspace.com/matanda www.xanga.com/xamandapanda866x amandamatousek@comcast.net 443 939 8787 ETC ;;;
















When im around you i glow like new york city and burn like the desert. but im still just as blind as the love i am chasing, and that love is still you because you owe me nothing, and i owe you the world. and theres nothing i can do about it because
with love you don't choose, you just fall. and sometimes you get this person who is all right and all wrong at same time. to be in your arms, oh it just makes my heart melt. and thats where i wanna be for the rest of my life and i cant help but chase that high.

He's Not Even Swimming in Your Pond

Even though you may have feelings to this guy, he has no ties to you. You'll never get more than a casual fling from him - even if he tells you otherwise. His thoughtless actions speak louder than his sweet words!

Do You Have Him Hooked?

they say time will dry the tears, but true love burns for a thousand years...

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person

Dear Mr (or Miss) Anonymous,

i appreciate your comment. alot. ("Hey I just want you to know that I am one of your friends. That I will be there when you fall, and there when you need help. I will be there when some guy needs a fist to the face or even when he doesnt. I will be here in the good times too. I am always here and I do want to be your friend. Alright then you probably know who this is but if you dont just ask if it was Ill tell you.") but im very slow and have no ieda who you are. so im asking....("just ask if it was Ill tell you"). [&hearts]
















julia, my myspace is www.myspace.com/matanda.















so i just got back from my show. it went rly well. evrybodys at the blast game :(
o well. i wonder if anyone is actually gonna come see it... im the type of girl that wishes on stars, Even though i know nothing will happen. i still want some hope, that things will be better. i wish i was prettier, or a stronger person.
But most of all, with makeup running down my face, i wish for someone special. i wish that someone would show that they care. i wish for you.





















knowing that something will never happen
doesn't make you want it any less.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

so ive decided that too many folks go through life running from something that isn't after them, and i was one of them. but now im just gonna let myself feel my heart
as it breaks within my chest now because no matter what i tell myself there's someone out there who was made to wake up next to me every morning.

and i admitt it, i fell in love, in love with you, and i didnt realize how much i cared until i realized that you didn't care at all. its very possible that any moment now loneliness will fill my heart & tears will fill my eyes. im done pretending im over it, because im not, not yet anyways. even when i think the flame has died, there's at least one lyric that'll hit that last hot spot, and then i find myself as screwed as the day i lied to everyone and said i never wanted to see him again.

one day i will fall so fast and I hope that it lasts, and it actually will. he won't hurt me, won't break me, he will just love me back. and thats all i need.































happy birthday erin!















Today's Quote

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.


-Vince Lombardi

Caring is real faint, like a heartbeat

"you don't know what you mean to me."

you're my entire world, kid.

I wonder if he can feel my eyes on him when I think hes not looking... eventually, one of two things will happen. He'll finally realize that im worth it, or ill realize that hes not.








honestly i cant really tell you what about him drives me crazy. maybe the fact that hes honest like this weekend he really hit me with the truth and part of me liked it and the other part of me thinks it would have been better if he would have hit me with a bus instead. I miss him so much, but I won't say it... I want him to be happy... but how can i let him be happy when he is boy i like, but he is in love with someone else?





day by day i feel myself, not become jelous of her really...but just working towards something and untill today i didnt know what it was i was working towards and i had a goal but i just couldnt define it but then i realized what i wanted to be. i want to be her. i want to be loved. and not the kind of love where you giggle with me in class and tell me your secrets. not the kind of love where you watch out for me or talk to me when you see me. i want to be loved. the kind of love where you want to spend the rest of your life with me. I could fill up a thousand pages telling you how I feel and you still wouldn't understand. i want to be loved. its not like I wanna be the only girl in your life. I just wanna be the only one that matters.

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

heres the vid i promised.

you are everything i want. and more than i deserve.

ok so youth group recap:
~mike n i rock
~I suck at soccer but love it anyways
~i asked brian to marry me
~he said no
~DJ tells the best stories
~mainly just because they make me happy
~actually can we just change that to everyone in youth grop makes me happy.
~i love my fellow flock mates
~not that i dont love the son seekers but ya know.


ok.


i want to be that girl. the one who had absolutely everything in her way,but was able to overcome all the obstacles & prove them all wrong but for right now im happy where i am. after all, theres nothing i can do to concentrate right now. it's so distracting- always thinking of you. and at some point, ill have to make a decision. ive finally realized that my boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence me in. my life is messy. That's just how i was made. So, i can waste my life drawing lines. Or i can live my life crossing them. but do me a favor... pinky promise that when we're old ... we're gonna be best friends racing each other in the nursing home with our wheelchairs. kk?





God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.








now, time for a video. ok later bc i cant find a good one.

when i said that i was afraid of falling, he whispered " he has wings."

When one thing doesn't work out it's only so that another thing will...right? today tyler drew me a dia de los muertos picture bc today is the day of the dead. it was so cute. i framed it. i think its bad that i love it so much....i just love it when he gives me anything...because its always so...thoughtful. for example, the picture he colored for me...or on my b day he gave me a beanie baby bull because "it was the closets one they had to a cow". how sweet is that??? Sometimes I would almost rather have someone take away years of my life then to take away a single moment ya know? thats just how some people make me feel. i love some of my memories of tyler...and i hate some of them too...but they are all like mixtapes...they sing me to sleep every night.