Thursday, July 20, 2006




Men See You As: An Attainable Challenge



You know how to make your man crave more of you

But you also know when to show some interest back

You're good at keeping your guy guessing

And over time, you'll let him know how you really feel

You Are Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"We saved the world. I say we have to party."

Sunday, July 16, 2006

sometimes the hardest things to let go of are the things you never really had.

some people care a little too much,
i think it's called LOVE ;
-- winnie the pooh

<3

<3

how come everything always makes sense;; until I see him again... untill i remember that he & I could make the whole world jealous...
not that i want to.



<3
& its really all my fault... I've made myself the fool thats falling for him. i mean really, all the drama, lies, heartbreak, & tears & these are the best years of our lives? i know it sounds melodramatic but i am dramatic and the only advice anyone ever gives me is "be strong"...I don't WANT to be that strong;; if it means being alone. no one ever tells me its ok to cry.

then again, is it really my fault you've got the arms i wanna be wrapped in,
the eyes i want to lose myself in, & the voice i could listen to for hours?
<3

i wish i knew exactly what to do. i wish... i wish i could lose this alter ego i have adopted. the "me" everyone thinks they know... but i cant help thinking it's better to laugh about nothing than to cry about everything. right?

and if you were actually to read this, which i know you wont so its ok, but if you were, and i could tell you one thing, I would scream: please don't leave me here tonight...I need you now, I need you in my life.

but i would never tell you that because, well, because it gets hard to trust anyone when everyone you ever opened your heart up to lets you down. and ben always said, "if you can't handle my worst, then you don't deserve my best." then again, look what happened to ben. and the sad part is he died without me knowing weather or not i will see him again with our heavenly father, and i can only blame myself for that. i was too selfish to think about...i was too young to realize that im not invincible. but he wasnt. wasnt too young or too week. he could do anything...or so he thought. and i never belived his brother when he told me. it all sounded like a sick joke...but the minutes passed...hours...days, and i got the notice for the funeral. and i didnt go. didnt have the heart. well i didnt have the time, money, or abillity, but mostly i didnt have the heart. i know ben would have forgiven me for abandoning him and im sure god has forgiven me but i know for sure i will never be able to forgive myself. and if you sat here and read this im sorry. sorry you had to hear me lament and cry but ive never put it all out there like this before and i dunno there was just something telling me i might feel better if i did. granted i dont feel better right now, and i dont think i ever will be able to feel as i once did, but...but...i judt dont know anymore. im just so sorry.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

funnes

You Are Right Brained In Love

Bit of a drama queen
Peacemaker, first to end a fight
Good at thinking up creative dates
Tend to fall in love and get hurt easily
Going with your gut instead of your head
Emphathetic and caring, sometimes to a fault
Good at recognizing patterns in relationships
Been in love many times, perhaps too many to count
Wildly passionate and intense when falling in love
Spontaneous with relationships, going with the flow
Overly visual - can play back past dates like movies in your mind
Roses, love poems, and stuffed animals are a good start to winning your heart





You Are Miss Piggy



A total princess and diva, you're totally in charge - even if people don't know it.

You want to be loved, adored, and worshiped. And you won't settle for anything less.

You're going to be a total star, and you won't let any of the "little people" get in your way.

Just remember, piggy, never eat more than you can lift!