so heres the classic story of teenage love... does she choose the nice guy, or the bad boy???



btw, she choooses the nice guy. :D

Life is full of risks

ok. so yes, im overemotinal, and yes, i write some depressing things on here. but the best part of all that is that i can write it on here, and then i dont have to hold it in my heart anymore.


I love sleep...because my life has this tendency to fall apart when I'm awake. But each and evryday i wake up becuae there is that one thing that keeps me going. love.
Life without LOVE isn't life at all. and really i just have to remind myself that i can't miss out on what's happening right now just because im waiting for something better to come along. i can't live in the future. i have right now. plus, i have your smile. and the hope that maybe you might have mine.















So God said to me, " Sure, you can have it all!!! just not all at once..."





















and Lauren, i have this goal that you and i are going to become the best of friends. satrting this weekend. i simply cannot wait. <3

Is she broken? Maybe. Does it hurt? like crazy.

well im going through some hard times. harder than ususal which really sucks because since im so over emotional evrything is so hard as it is that it really cant be harder...but then it is. i really need to get away. thats reason #99999 that i cant wait for this weekend.

i knew life wasnt always beautiful. i knew it could be just plain hard. i knew it could knock you down, i even knew it could break my heart...but i didnt know it would shatter my dreams. i hate not being in control. I am what I am, but for some people that will never be enough. i just dont know why its so hard for me to understand that. i dare you to look me in the eyes & tell me how you really feel. not how you feel about something i did or something i have or something i wear. i dare you to tell me how you feel about me as a person. am i good enough?















Sometimes you have those people
in life where no matter what you do
or say to them, they'll always look
at you the wrong way.

And no one said it was going to be easy

People don't keep journals for themselves. They keep them for other people, like a secret...a seacret they don't want to tell, but they want everyone to know.

www.myspace.com/matanda

www.xanga.com/xamandapanda866x

www.xanga.com/l_a_r_r_i_e


check em out.















Stand up for what you believe in.
Even if your standing alone.

It's the days we're so crazy people think we're high.

so i went to the mall with monica. too bad they were out of EVRYTHING we planned on getting. it sucked. anyways, still just getting out of the house was fun. then we went to chesseburger in paridise. it was good but it made me feel sooo fat, i couldnt even finish my food, evrything was gimoungous. but i saw my cinnie-minnie so twas all good. ok im gonna be honest, i havent done any more work on london brigde bc i just havent had the time. and i feel really bad...so maybe ill keep it for another week??




















I wish I felt nothing,
then it might be easy for me,
like it is for you.

She's your basic, average teenage girl.

im sooo happy right now because evrything is just going good ya know? ryan (a friend of mine who is amazing) and monica (my cousin) are finally officially dating and i think they r perfect for each other. after all, they both chicken dance really well...lol. plus, monica sent me really cute pics of missa (my sister) and her in oc and hopefully we r gonna go shopping sat...fun fun fun.

LIVE

YOUR

DREAM.















we would sit & wonder about the future. but now im thinking that today sounds fine to me.

remember to check out beccahs blog to find out what i did labor day...

I'll wait for you, hoping that you'll change your mind because
Hoping's all I can do...

im so excited for the fall retreat & I hope the weather holds, but than again, we don't need the sun to make us shine.



& I still count my blessings, with or without you. & no, I guess i didnt learn a lesson; I'm still a dedicated fool.















in life, God does not give you the people you want. He gives you the people you need ; to teach you, to hurt you, to love you, to make you laugh...to make you exactly the person you should be. ♥

knowing that something will never happen doesnt make me want it any less

i just wanted to say that that dumb photograph of me and you still
brings tears to my eyes... and it takes a someone special to make the ordinary moments like that something to remember... so i'm sitting here listening to the tick tock of the clock because these days, it's the only thing that stays the same.















this is the scene where I confess that you mean everything to me

Dance in the rain just to get soaked

i got the title from thinking about beccah. we spent the weekend together brige-builing. it pretty much rocked. pics should be up on her blog soon.

in other news, i have been thinking about _____ alot lately and i really reall really really really miss him. and the worst part is, i know he doesnt miss me. its like a lose-lose situation or something. Whatever I'm doing, whenever it is,whoever I am talking to, I am always thinking about one thing. him. and that just cannot be healthy. every time I see a shooting star I whisper his name, and he is consistantly in my prayers.

granted, i know im kinda boy crazy...but this is different. I didn't fall in love with him because of his drop dead gorgeous eyes. I fell for what was behind them. and for the first time in my life i stare at myself in the mirror. i can no longer notice my once reedeeming qualities. i cant give myself credit for being such a forgiving person. A wonderful friend. A great listener.because somehow, if _____ doesn't see my beauty, neither can i.















you know you're in love when you realize
you found the person you'd die for