HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE BREAKTHRU

OK SO I JUST HAD A HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE BREAKTHRU AND I IM GONNA POST IT ON HERE BECAUSE NO ONE READS THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!!!YAY!!!!!!!!

so anyways, here it is...

i have a crush on someone!

FOR LIKE THE FIRST TIME IN FOREVER!!!!

but alas, he has a girl friend. so ill have to wait.

hes cute, sensitive, compassionate, considerate, funny, and he can sing. he even wote a song and its actually good.

oh how i love to be in his arms.

and today he asked me for my phone number.

NFNGVRWTNWHG!

DID I MENTION HOW INCREDIBLY CUTE HE IS???????????

ahhhhhhhhhh.

love, my sweet, sweet, love.

for my special someones

first off to mr amazing smile-

as soon as I saw your smile, I knew we were meant to be together. it still mesmerizes me today, in fact, even more so than it used to.

i love to hear that you miss me when i'm not around.

there are a few things I want to hold onto; one being the color of the sky, so blue. And the others being every feeling I've ever felt when im with you.

There's only two times I want to be with you; now & forever.

And even if we grow apart, and even if we dont talk as much two years from now,
just remember that Ill always be here for you. always.




And of course to mr always there for me-

me and you, We spend most of our time talking about nothing, but I just want to let you know that all those nothings have meant so much more to me than so many somethings.

There are just some people in life that can make me laugh a little louder, smile a little bigger, & just live a little better...

and there are some people who hit your life so hard, they leave a stain on your future....

and you're one of those people.

when you became my friend it changed my life because For once in my life my heart was
in a place where it wanted to be, & I wasn't afraid of getting hurt.




if anyone can identify both mr someones and tell me why i choose to write about both of them now. you win a prize.

life lately

its had its share of good and bad.

my greades were sucking but they're up again now that i quit my job.

theres some people i love to death and some people that drive me crazy, but thats life isnt it?

i still dont understand why some people cant keep their promises.

i will never understand why my non christian friends show me more love than my christain ones do.

i love josh kat julia amanda ms diane mr randy alina my mom my dad amy matt mr baker ms angela mr b jenn busi steveo nick christain hannah and everyone else who has come to see my show so far.
as for the rest of you -theres still time.

i really dont want to talk to you if we are just going to talk about things we both already know. but i do want to talk to you. because i love you and i want to hear what you have to say. but dont expect me to be fakely polite. because i wont be. ill be honest and cold and hard. because i think you need that. and after im horrible and cruel to you my arms will forever be open to you. when you need someone to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen ill be there. because thats the kinda person i am. but i dont know what kind of person you are anymore. i really dont. but im praying that you are not the kind of person who is going to sit there and feed me a sob story because im sorry but oh boo hoo. you have a sob story. Okay.
Now let me write that down in my thingsidontgiveafuckabout notebook. we all have a sob story. don't think you`re so special or different just cause you`re hurting..cause here`s a secret..we`re all hurting. so you better get over your self and you better do it quick. in fact, im hoping you already have.

i need to go have a weepathon soon. [[see video for definition of weepathon]]

songs that i will preform at One Nite Only

stars and moon

I met a man without a dollar to his name
Who had no traits of any value but his smile
I met a man who had no yearn or claim to fame
Who was content to let life pass him for a while
And I was sure that all I ever wanted
Was a life like the movie stars led
And he kissed me right here, and he said,

"I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you
And a promise I'll never go
I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you
And the strength that will help you grow.
I'll give you truth and a future that's twenty times better
Than any Hollywood plot."
And I thought, "You know, I'd rather have a yacht."

I met a man who lived his life out on the road
Who left a wife and kids in Portland on a whim
I met a man whose fire and passion always showed
Who asked if I could spare a week to ride with him
But I was sure that all I ever wanted
Was a life that was scripted and planned
And he said, "But you don't understand —

"I'll give you stars and the moon and the open highway
And a river beneath your feet
I'll give you day full of dreams if you travel my way
And a summer you can't repeat.
I'll give you nights full of passion and days of adventure,
No strings, just warm summer rain."
And I thought, "You know, I'd rather have champagne."

I met a man who had a fortune in the bank
Who had retired at age thirty, set for life.
I met a man and didn't know which stars to thank,
And then he asked one day if I would be his wife.
And I looked up, and all I could think of
Was the life I had dreamt I would live
And I said to him, "What will you give?"

"I'll give you cars and a townhouse in Turtle Bay
And a fur and a diamond ring
And we'll be married in Spain on my yacht today
And we'll honeymoon in Beijing.
And you'll meet stars at the parties I throw at my villas
In Nice and Paris in June."

And I thought, "Okay."
And I took a breath
And I got my yacht
And the years went by
And it never changed
And it never grew
And I never dreamed
And I woke one day
And I looked around
And I thought, "My God...
I'll never have the moon."

I just couldnt believe you would do the things you did

thinking about summer ending is depressing so i am deciding to be in denial.

i always used to say that i'll never understand him. but that used to be ok.
and its not anymore. because before, i was just being inconveinced. and for the most part, im a pretty easy goinag and loving person, so i was willing to deal. but now im getting hurt. like seriously hurt. and he knows it. and he doesnt care. and i wonder if he ever cared. i wonder if he realizes how hard it was for me to stick by his side through all his various hard times. but i did it. because i cared. and i thought he cared too. but everyday he proves to me that he doesnt. so im giving up.

and thats what scares me. giving up.

this isnt meant to be like a depressing post or anything. but i just have to know, so be honest,

is it bad that im giving up? do you blame me? am i doing something wrong?











know

You Are 28% Sociopath

From time to time, you may be a bit troubled and a bit too charming for your own good. It's likely that you're not a sociopath... just quite smart and a bit out of the mainstream!

Are You A Sociopath?

***You've Experienced 32% of Life***

You have the life experience of someone in their early 20s.
You've seen some of what life has to offer - but you have a long ways to go.

How Much Life Experience Do You Have?
http://www.blogthings.com/howmuchlifeexperiencedoyouhavequiz/

"This is a manly [glitter] fight!"

Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our noses and ears
Never stop growing.



The first owner of the Marlboro cigarette Company died of lung cancer.




There are more telephones than people in Washington , D.C.



Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to slow a film down so you
could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm.




"Dreamt" is the only word in the English language that ends in "mt".




The only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible is the cat.



Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike
factory workers in Malaysia combined.






Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

the first day of the rest of my life

for once in my life, something felt right




my heart smiles



we're not pretending





love. easy word to spell. easy word to say. most people throw
around the word "love" like it's nothing. but it's definitely something.
it's that "I can live without you, I just don't want to" kinda feeling
that you get. it's more than any kind of romance, more than exchange of sweet words. it's knowing that no matter what you're going through in life, no matter how you're feeling, that someone will always be there to brighten your day, to
know how to make you smile in your own special way. don't throw
the word "love" around like it's nothing, cause it's everything. never
tell someone you love them when you don't.





Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

-Howard Thurman






lets waste our nights together





You can always tell when people are best friends
because they're always having more fun
than it makes sense for them to be having






but we understand each other,
and we care about each other,
and I believe that years from now...
we still will






And I still don't know what I did to deserve you





if you find love, hold on tight

so much for the street lights

mmmmmm

so last night was fun.

pictures will be posted as soon as they are uploaded and throughly photoshopped.

i didnt realize untill last night how well we fit together. its like she talks about you like you put the stars in the sky. and your laugh makes me smile. my smile makes her world go round. hes her world. so its all this crazy mixed up jumble of life and we all somehow manage to find each other and we all manage to fit although no one feels like they belong.

its miraculous.

By Popular Demand