I wonder what you sound like when you'e not wearing words.

Thanks for you love and suport jeanne, ill try to keep posting things you can enjoy and relate to.

So i was looking over some old blog entries and i used to blog all the time...and now i dont do it so much. i love[d] blogging but the reason i love[d] it is because of the feedback i get from you guys, so id like some more, if thats not too much to ask.

prom is friday. im excited. excited, but not ready. lol

i know this is gonna sound so wierd so bare with me, but lately ive realing been craving a significant other. i think what i really want to knwo is that im good enough, and i think that being in a relationship would tell me that...i know its werird and messed up but w/e.

so i guess in the end im just craving attention.... does that make me horrible person. i mean i know im annoyed when people insist that all eyes be on them...so why am i insisting that all eyes are on me??? i dont want all eyes...i want the eyes of one boy who loves me. that;s enough. the way i feel... it's like... being in a room with a million people, and i feel like if i died, not one single person would even notice.

i hate this feeling. hate it hate it hate it.



often, i find myself wanting to be alone.
but my biggest fear is that i will be.

take me away.

ahhh.

IB exas are over...

so teachers are pileing on tons and tons of work.

nationals rehersals are everyday now.

stil prom date-less.

i dont know what i want in suessical anymore.

my lifes kinda depressing.

except for the fact that i know the coolest kids ever. and i call them my friends.




i have just been in really weird moods lately. i think i'll blame them on hormones, cause thats much easier than trying to explain them. i feel like... like im that crooked little heart that you drew in the corner of your paper in second grade. The one that got scribbled out because it wasn't quite right. there wasnt really anything wrong with it...but for somereason no one really wants it, no one wants you to draw one on their paper eaither. it doesnt claim to be perfect but its ok...isnt? ecause no one else seems to think its ok...but there really isnt anything wrong with it is there?




The knot in my throat blocks
all the words I wish I could say.

Something's gotta make me feel alive.

I WENT TO A RELIENT K CONCERT LAST NITE
IT WAS BECCA'S SURPRISE B DAY PRESENT TO ME
IT WAS AMAZING.

so my birthday is tomarrow and its kinda anti-climatic..becasue im not having a party or anything. its so sad. oh well. hopefully im gonna have a pool party this summer...although my mom keeps saying its not gonna happen so i guess we'll see.


in other news, i still dont have a prom date :(

any takers? :P

Prom Date Application ♥
fill it ouT

Name:
Age:
Height:
Hometown:
Hair Color:
Eye Color:
Are you really a boy?
Do you know who I am?
Piercings/Tattoos?
Which do you prefer blondes,redheads, or brunettes?
Are you a heartbreaker?
Are you funny?
Write in a pickup line:
Are you into music?
If so which genre?
Are you a musician?
Do you sing?
Would you a date a younger or older girl?
Can you dance?
Are you friends with mostly girls or guys?
Do you smoke?
What about a girl impresses you?
What color is most attractive on the girl of your dreams?
Are you shy?
What do you do after school?
What is your best quality?
Are you adeventerous or practical?
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Would you watch a sappy movie with a girl?
Do you have a best friend?
Why did you fill out this application?

it's along way down

im so stressed and so angry and have so much pent up emotion that i dont know what to do but sit here and cry. and i know its not really helping so shut up. it is helping bc its helping me. its like drug addicts, yea doing the drug more doesnt help but it makes reality go away for a while, and that makes it better...at least fro now.