she knows it's a lie

You are a Playful Date

Your dating philosophy? "Fun first, romance later" You rather scream on a roller coaster... Then stare in to some guy's eyes over dinner. Guys to look for: Men with humorous profiles and quirky interests Sure that business suit guy may look boring... But if he likes snowball fights, give him a try

What Kind of Date Are You?

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. --JK Rowling















Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.































He has something worth tripping over.
I just didn't know I would fall so hard.















Today's Quote

If you really do put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.

-Anonymous

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict. One moment you're in your own little happy universe... And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

WANTED:
One boy who will ; one boy who will love me no matter what I do; someone that I can hug, who won't break my heart; who will know how to treat me right from the start. If you can fulfill my wishes, please--let me know.

she had her heart on the line

RANDOMNESS!!!

IVE BEEN IN THE CAR FOR 11 HOURS TODAY AND IM A LITTLE LOOPY!!!

IM GONING TO WRITE IN CAPS LOCK!!!

ok done with that...









Today's Quote

'Twas her thinking of others that made you think of her.

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning















I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
And once upon a song

Now I know you're not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Because I liked the view
When there was me and you

You Are 79% Feminine, 21% Masculine

You are in touch with your feminine side. Sensitive, intuitive, and caring are all words that describe you. And you're just masculine enough to relate to both men and women.

Are You Masculine or Feminine?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

somebody who makes me happy

ONCE AGAIN;;;Dear Mr (or Miss) Anonymous,

i appreciate your comment. alot. ("Hey I just want you to know that I am one of your friends. That I will be there when you fall, and there when you need help. I will be there when some guy needs a fist to the face or even when he doesnt. I will be here in the good times too. I am always here and I do want to be your friend. Alright then you probably know who this is but if you dont just ask if it was Ill tell you.") but im very slow and have no ieda who you are. so im asking....("just ask if it was Ill tell you"). [♥]IF YOU DONT WANT TO TELL ME ON HERE THEN THERE ARE MANY OTHER WAYS TO CONTACT ME ie. www.myspace.com/matanda www.xanga.com/xamandapanda866x amandamatousek@comcast.net 443 939 8787 ETC ;;;
















When im around you i glow like new york city and burn like the desert. but im still just as blind as the love i am chasing, and that love is still you because you owe me nothing, and i owe you the world. and theres nothing i can do about it because
with love you don't choose, you just fall. and sometimes you get this person who is all right and all wrong at same time. to be in your arms, oh it just makes my heart melt. and thats where i wanna be for the rest of my life and i cant help but chase that high.

He's Not Even Swimming in Your Pond

Even though you may have feelings to this guy, he has no ties to you. You'll never get more than a casual fling from him - even if he tells you otherwise. His thoughtless actions speak louder than his sweet words!

Do You Have Him Hooked?

they say time will dry the tears, but true love burns for a thousand years...

You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person

Dear Mr (or Miss) Anonymous,

i appreciate your comment. alot. ("Hey I just want you to know that I am one of your friends. That I will be there when you fall, and there when you need help. I will be there when some guy needs a fist to the face or even when he doesnt. I will be here in the good times too. I am always here and I do want to be your friend. Alright then you probably know who this is but if you dont just ask if it was Ill tell you.") but im very slow and have no ieda who you are. so im asking....("just ask if it was Ill tell you"). [&hearts]
















julia, my myspace is www.myspace.com/matanda.















so i just got back from my show. it went rly well. evrybodys at the blast game :(
o well. i wonder if anyone is actually gonna come see it... im the type of girl that wishes on stars, Even though i know nothing will happen. i still want some hope, that things will be better. i wish i was prettier, or a stronger person.
But most of all, with makeup running down my face, i wish for someone special. i wish that someone would show that they care. i wish for you.





















knowing that something will never happen
doesn't make you want it any less.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

so ive decided that too many folks go through life running from something that isn't after them, and i was one of them. but now im just gonna let myself feel my heart
as it breaks within my chest now because no matter what i tell myself there's someone out there who was made to wake up next to me every morning.

and i admitt it, i fell in love, in love with you, and i didnt realize how much i cared until i realized that you didn't care at all. its very possible that any moment now loneliness will fill my heart & tears will fill my eyes. im done pretending im over it, because im not, not yet anyways. even when i think the flame has died, there's at least one lyric that'll hit that last hot spot, and then i find myself as screwed as the day i lied to everyone and said i never wanted to see him again.

one day i will fall so fast and I hope that it lasts, and it actually will. he won't hurt me, won't break me, he will just love me back. and thats all i need.































happy birthday erin!















Today's Quote

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up.


-Vince Lombardi

Caring is real faint, like a heartbeat

"you don't know what you mean to me."

you're my entire world, kid.

I wonder if he can feel my eyes on him when I think hes not looking... eventually, one of two things will happen. He'll finally realize that im worth it, or ill realize that hes not.








honestly i cant really tell you what about him drives me crazy. maybe the fact that hes honest like this weekend he really hit me with the truth and part of me liked it and the other part of me thinks it would have been better if he would have hit me with a bus instead. I miss him so much, but I won't say it... I want him to be happy... but how can i let him be happy when he is boy i like, but he is in love with someone else?





day by day i feel myself, not become jelous of her really...but just working towards something and untill today i didnt know what it was i was working towards and i had a goal but i just couldnt define it but then i realized what i wanted to be. i want to be her. i want to be loved. and not the kind of love where you giggle with me in class and tell me your secrets. not the kind of love where you watch out for me or talk to me when you see me. i want to be loved. the kind of love where you want to spend the rest of your life with me. I could fill up a thousand pages telling you how I feel and you still wouldn't understand. i want to be loved. its not like I wanna be the only girl in your life. I just wanna be the only one that matters.

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

heres the vid i promised.

you are everything i want. and more than i deserve.

ok so youth group recap:
~mike n i rock
~I suck at soccer but love it anyways
~i asked brian to marry me
~he said no
~DJ tells the best stories
~mainly just because they make me happy
~actually can we just change that to everyone in youth grop makes me happy.
~i love my fellow flock mates
~not that i dont love the son seekers but ya know.


ok.


i want to be that girl. the one who had absolutely everything in her way,but was able to overcome all the obstacles & prove them all wrong but for right now im happy where i am. after all, theres nothing i can do to concentrate right now. it's so distracting- always thinking of you. and at some point, ill have to make a decision. ive finally realized that my boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence me in. my life is messy. That's just how i was made. So, i can waste my life drawing lines. Or i can live my life crossing them. but do me a favor... pinky promise that when we're old ... we're gonna be best friends racing each other in the nursing home with our wheelchairs. kk?





God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.








now, time for a video. ok later bc i cant find a good one.

when i said that i was afraid of falling, he whispered " he has wings."

When one thing doesn't work out it's only so that another thing will...right? today tyler drew me a dia de los muertos picture bc today is the day of the dead. it was so cute. i framed it. i think its bad that i love it so much....i just love it when he gives me anything...because its always so...thoughtful. for example, the picture he colored for me...or on my b day he gave me a beanie baby bull because "it was the closets one they had to a cow". how sweet is that??? Sometimes I would almost rather have someone take away years of my life then to take away a single moment ya know? thats just how some people make me feel. i love some of my memories of tyler...and i hate some of them too...but they are all like mixtapes...they sing me to sleep every night.